November 13, 2010

something about my childhood

this is about my life. if you don't care, exit. when i was little, i used to hang around with boys a lot (sorry, bad thesis. this is not generally about boys). all my best friends were girls though. one moved away, one was separated by rumors, and one was just a bitch. i only still keep in touch with my second best friend since kindergarten. she's only one of my closest friends ever now, i don't have a best friend anymore. it's just that more often now, "i don't want to be alone, i want to be left alone" (audrey hepburn) because everyone invades my privacy, even the closest people. i'm bringing this up after my journal opened up to this page (bottom) where i attached a ziploc of my hair, cut from when it was real long, not that long ago. i don't remember the last time my hair was ever that long, so cutting it was definitely something i wanted to remember (i know it's weird, why would anyone want to remember their hair). right now, my sister and my grandma are watching home videos of me when i was like two in the living room. therefore, i can't stop recalling even more memories in my mind. the one about chilling with dudes all my childhood life i would've almost forgot if i don't write it out right now.

from when i was about six to thirteen, i lived in a neighborhood where there were always kids outside playing football, hanging out in garages, and goes to the park all the time. this isn't even the suburbs, just a small neighborhood in brooklyn. school was only a block away so it wasn't surprising that there were so many kids on my block. i remember that on the corner of the block, there was a cute little cat lady who grew honeysuckles on her front yard. two houses down would be a girl my age, and her little sister. three houses down was this old white-haired couple who i couldn't understand (they were nice, but you would expect them to be like those old people on the street who hate kids). across the street from them, was this weird tomboy girl who wore olive hoover glasses and her family who kept their christmas lights up all year (one time, she got me so mad that i started cursing right then right there). the house next to the old couple was my grandma's and my cousin's. next door to theirs was this italian family who had twins when we moved out. i always thought they looked like a younger version of buffy and angel. two houses down was mine. and the next few houses were the guys about four years older than i was. obviously, even though they were in the sixth grade then i thought they were like high school seniors.

i didn't know these guys very well, and they didn't know me. we were just neighbors getting along. they gathered at the garage behind our house all the time. my bedroom had the window facing the garage and i'd always listen in if they were loud. (oh i also really liked spying so yeah, i applied those skills too, that's not creepy). anyway, the point is, i miss that neighborhood, everyone was really friendly. i would sit home watching my afternoon cartoons, and then someone would come ring my door and ask if i can come out and play. of course i had girl friends who waited for me to come out to chill too. people were always outside, just being active. basketball, football, skateboarding, handball, drawing on the sidewalk, hide and seek, and barbecues. i remember when my friend and i started a water gun fight on the whole block. several water balloon fights came in the weeks that followed. it was crazy fun. if i walk down that same street now, i probably wouldn't feel the same vibe, but it's good to know that my childhood was there. the huge bedford park two blocks away also contained a hella lot of memories. they recently reconstructed the entire playground which really kills me.

i remember going back there about two years after everyone graduated the fifth grade, and i reunited with a few of my old friends. some people changed, and some didn't. it was quite cool to see the difference. i actually wouldn't mind reuniting with kids from elementary; i remember every single one of them. i see a couple on the morning train to school sometimes. facebook isn't a good idea for me to reunite. i'd rather see them in person and not be a creep to find out what's up. i would never wish to reunite with people from middle school, unless we still keep in contact. those three years were just unnecessary. wow, it's just crazy. all these flashbacks.. and wow, it's 11:30. i have got to finish this boring book and write an essay. this was just something i needed to post. it's probably the only thing that made me happy about life today.