December 31, 2010

it's new year's eve!

12 more hours! i'm actually really nervous. i never saw january coming so soon, with regents and SATs oh shit regents.. i forgot i still have to make up my trig regents. yo fuck the system. i seriously do not want to. since it's new years eve, i guess i should be writing a whole post reminiscing about the greatest memories of 2010. i want to but i'm afraid i'll bore you. first off, i made another blog where i will be selling off some clothes. don't know when i'll actually be open to orders; i have never sent packages before. and i have other important things to get together before i get excited about sending and receiving. second, i'm whoring my facebook once again, after all the photos i took today, i posted only forty on fb and basically none on flickr. i was looking forward to a 52weeks photo from the event but i'd have to post the whole album to share what it was like and i can't share that to the whole world. this will happen only a lot in the future. i wish i could make an official fan page for my work but i don't think i'm that incredible.

third, i made a list of the things i have never tried with photography
  • concerts
  • stars
  • serious nature
  • street - asking a stranger
  • agency models
  • use lightroom

they have become my new years resolutions to at least attempt them. another resolution would be to get my grades up. i've always been an average 80s-90s kid who works their way up to mid 90s real slow. though it's difficult this year because my teachers are either mental, the subject doesn't make sense, or any kind of help is being disrupted. so specific resolutions would be
  • stop skipping first period (excludes subs, no exams on fridays, or just physically impossible to get there)
  • wake up earlier!!!! i'm so serious you miss the bus every fucking morning its not funny to run and spill hot cocoa everywhere
  • kiss english teacher's ass
  • TRY to focus in precalculus
  • throw out/sell clothes you don't wear/need
  • accomplish at least one of the photography things
  • collegeegesgsegegsegsgsess
  • accomplish something with a trophy/medal/plate/name somewhere

there has been two lists made so far, i don't think you'd care for a list of my greatest 2010 memories by now. so celebrating 2011 eve's eve, liz threw a small party. it was actually really nice as a smaller group than usual. i like small groups. after this awful 3590ft blizzard in the city, the metro transportation shut down and people were stuck at home or somewhere for days. thursday was the day nature decided to clean up the mess it left. liz asked for me to get there early, i don't know why, we just watched tyra and made jokes. we hid when allyson's party arrived, i hid in the bath tub. only ella knew and it was awkward because the tub was still wet and those bitches gave up on finding me. we made pancakes (with weird stuff in it), snowball fight in her yard with her dogs pissin everywhere, ordered pizzaz, and moved the fun to the park.

on our trip hiking through three feet of snow the one block and corner to the park, we found a dead bird and they had another snowball fight. allyson's friend confirmed to us that the buses weren't working when she tried to leave and that got everyone freaked out. so the party went back home and we called every car service available and nothing was going to solve it except walking the whole thirty blocks to the subway station. basically, everyone walked me home because i live on the other side of the marina from liz's house, and it was chill. it wasn't that cold out but it was dark and i probably would not have walked past marine park in the dark alone even if the bus wasn't functioning. so tis was my week minus the sleep-at-2-am-and-wake-at-1-pm festivities [doing absolutely nothing at home and complaining about it].

December 26, 2010


i had a good time last night. our dinner party table was never ending. i insisted that whenever anyone was done with their dinner, they could get their treats. i made dozens of tree sugar cookies and made a diy station where only a few kids did themselves, i did the rest. i also made more fondant bow cupcakes and those went away quickly but people didn't want to eat them because they were so pretty. i was completely flattered all day. our tree was falling over because of the overflowing amount of presents stuffed under it. most of them were for the little kids, where there were a lot. only one of them was mine, and it was actually something i wanted.

after the party, allyson and i had a virtual sleepover. we watched half of black swan and fell asleep at 2am. i was supposed to wake early today so anna could come over and pick up her christmas gift but i guess this blizzard is unbeatable. so i woke up all excited because it didn't snow at 2am but it was snowing when i got up. after brunch, i walked around the house with a stuffy nose. and then decided i should go out and help shovel. i put on tights, leggings, socks, two sweaters, gloves, jacket, scarf, hat, and boots and went out with my shovel. it was so gorgeous out and it still is. i shoveled for about half an hour and then stopped and took photos. i actually hate shoveling while it's still snowing. cleaning now kinda contradicts the fact that all the work you went through will be covered by another blanket of snow soon. whatever. now i'm on my parent's computer.. computering and eating ferrero rocher and about to play a mmporg. hehehe okay bye

December 24, 2010

3 hours till christmas

i'm watching lolita right now. it's christmas eve and i didn't anything productive. all the presents are wrapped up, crowding my bedroom. i woke up at 1 today. the first thing i did after getting out of bed, i went to my grandma's and got lunch, then watched my sister play you belong with me by taylor swift and dawn by dario marionelli on the piano. last night i watched becoming jane with anne hathaway and james mcavoy. i loved it, even thought it's kind of a fictitious biography because nobody really knows what happened in jane austen's life, i would not have directed it any other way. and today i watched the switch with jennifer aniston and jason bateman, which was pretty alright, the screenplay was adapted by the same writer of the virgin suicides. and then i watched sofia coppola's somewhere. i hate to say it was boring but it really was, there was no plot to follow and it was just an hour and a half of watching an actor's boring life in fame. the colors and scenery and lighting was magnificent though, and i love that the only music played was julian casablancas and phoenix.

yesterday was the last day of school. did nothing at all. i was late for lab because i always am and didn't even get to finish it. then my british lit teacher exploded into an unnecessary bitch fight with the class and made us write instead of watching pride and prejudice and then forgave everyone for things we didn't do and tried to resolve everything by giving us hugs. no, i'm going out the back door. i enlarged my first photo essay roll in photography. ultimately i was the only person left in the dark room and it was scary because it's dark and scary and dark and lonely. the rest of the day, i really did nothing. i sat and drew and talked and gave out my baked treats. i made tree and snowflake cookies and cupcakes. every time i bake, i try something new. this was the first time i have ever used cookie cutters and premade fondant.

and on this last day of the week, my friends and i went out to sugar cafe diner. it was so much fun. we were high on food and sugar and jokes. i did not bring my digital, but i brought my ae-1 because i just recently loaded it with color film and was excited to use it.

i wasn't totally in the holiday spirit until the end of the school day when people hugged and said goodbyes or see-you-next-years. now i'm pretty hyped to see extended family and friends tomorrow. i gotta bake more too since i'm in charge of the sweets during dinner parties. i should get back to lolita now. it's not loading..

December 18, 2010

last school friday of the year

another dreadful week of school, the last full week of the year. last night we went to our favorite homey restaurant, two boots. we reminisced on the usual things we would share with each other. after a delicious dinner, we slowly said goodbyes. late at night, weird things happen on the subway. the last time we went to two boots and went home late, elizabeth, noa and i were encountered by a drunk russian who thought his jokes were funny. last night after noa got off, this man who looked like a well-paid father blasted christmas songs and jammed along in one hand with his trumpet. it really wasn't that impressive, but i thought it was funny so i tried to take a photo with my phone. i was already annoyed with the guy sitting across from me but my phone's flash went off when i took it, and i didn't notice until everyone was looking at me. my flash is usually off, it was on bc i took a photo of an ugly bug on the wall the night before. it was a little embarrassing.. especially when elizabeth got off and left me all along with the awkward company of the subway.

when i got home, i met a stack of books on my desk. kim's book orders came and i wondered how she carried all this home. i went to find her, she was in her pajamas from pajama day at school. she came upstairs with me and we took photos with our fake and lame christmas tree. i needed a holiday photo for 52weeks since it wasn't going to snow until christmas. also snapped some photos with our new piano and old piano. no, i don't play piano, my sister does. nope, wait i can play heart and soul. that's good enough right? after she did all her saturday school homework, i said we should read some of her new books. we read two and then my other sister insisted we should watch tangled afterward. i was going to watch pride and prejudice but they've been wanting to watch tangled for ever. tangled was a good movie, rapunzel definitely looked like mandy moore when her hair was cut (spoiler, nope). well it was funny but i kept asking myself how this was appropriate for disney viewers, with a noose and falling off a tower to your death.. mad violent yo.

oh and before we watched the movie, we made our first gingerbread house! a cardboard puzzle gingerbread house. it's an improvement.

today, i shall start baking my cookies for christmas. i know i won't have time before the last day of school, i gotta begin now. i'm not sure what kind of cookie decoration i'll make but i want to make them custom to the people i'm giving them to. i've never used cookie cutters before. oh i also have to make my traditional christmas cupcakes. i haven't made cupcakes since... easter or something.

December 14, 2010

what happened

i uploaded some photos last night with a wooden palette model of a stegosaurus. i was in my mom's room, where the dinosaur was, waiting for my sister to come home with our take out. i neverrrr eat take out. the last time i ate take out, i was like 12. i can never finish them either. anyway, the title of this post is so because this afternoon, i got real confused. too many events happened that got me puzzled but i smiled because they don't happen often. i had planned to go to soho and pick up a new bristol pad, and i did, though my trip there was an adventure. since i had nothing to eat and it was cold, i decided i should walk to the deli afterschool and pick up a nice hot cup of tea. i walk across lincoln center as a shortcut and while i look left and right to jaywalk across columbus avenue, i pick up my pace a little to just cross the street. in between the two sidewalks, i slip (i don't even clearly remember this) and fall on my ass. i'm sitting in the middle of the road laughing at the same time wondering oh shit there's cars coming behind me. this couple in their twenties walk over to me asking if i'm alright, they try to help me up. i really don't recall how i slipped or there ever being an ice puddle but that i landed on the ground really swiftly with my wrists holding me up so i didn't hurt my butt. i got up still smiling because i thought it was funny and the guy of the two mentioned that it had happened to him twice today. today was probably the first time i have personally seen snow on the ground this season so it was understandable that people were suddenly tripping everywhere. let's note that i have never in my life ever fallen in public before, moreover ever by myself and people actually saw. i laughed it off as they went into a starbucks, i didn't find the incident to be embarrassing at all. most probably because nobody laughed but would rather to make sure i was okay. so that was that and i continued my stroll to soho.

i get on the train at columbus circle, it's crowded which never happens so i had to stand, and this business guy who is sitting down is loudly shushing everyone. he turned heads alright and nobody knew what he was silencing the train about...awkward. when i do get a seat, a big guy gets on and tries to sit on the other end of my bench. the train accelerated and threw him right over this girl who was sitting near the window seat. her guy friend exclaims oh my god but didn't push him to protect her. it was also an awkward moment because everyone pretended like it didn't happen afterward but i smiled still. i guess the rest actually happens after i pick up my bristol pad. that included this girl running across houston right into a guy who was riding his bike perpendicular to her direction. i was kind of standing on the sidewalk, watching like i knew it was going to happen. nobody got hurt.

i'll include here what happened yesterday too. i missed the bus on my way home and when i finally caught up, the dick driver shut the doors on my fingers. i called him a dick when he closed the doors and stomped off. the rest of the way, with the bus following me, i had my middle finger up in my pocket and strutted home proud as fuck because i hate the mta and forever will. strange events also happened on my walk home, like this guy outside a market was on the phone telling the other person to become a hooker. that if that person wanted money, they should go suck a lot of dick and bitch about their huge income later. i laughed on the inside. in conclusion, i'm still confused about what happened these past two days but i'm alright with it because these things don't happen to me everyday and i like new experiences. it's funner when you don't give up to feel ashamed about something like falling in public and rather take pride in it and walk it off. you probably don't know what the hell i mean, it's okay.

December 13, 2010

i hate this weather

when i leave home, it's dark. when i come home, it's dark. i can't do anything without natural light motherfucking new york! even on weekends, i sleep in because i need the rest and by the time it's 4, it's dark. what is this. i can't wait till winter vacation, sit in my room watching the cold sunset and take photos with naturalllll lighttttt

December 11, 2010

play with fire

puddles of tea

i found out late last night that my thermos had leaked in my bag. this will be the last time i buy a hot drink before shopping, the last time i buy a medium tea from starbucks of course. unlike a lot of people, i like my beverage pre-made. not produced in a bottle like lipton iced tea, like from a deli where the people behind the counter make it for you. with starbucks, it's too complicated for me and they just did not have normal tea so i had to order green tea. i didn't know how much sugar to put in and what the difference the honey packet the guy gave me was going to make. i held it around the store for like an hour waiting for it to cool down. by the time i got to the fitting room, i was all fuck this and poured the liquid over to my thermos that was filled with hot cocoa that morning. i put it in my nylon bag and forget it was there until before i go to bed. by the time i take it out, the lid is dried so i would not have noticed it got to the bottom of my bag. i took out my folder to get a flyer and it's dripping. my expression starts to slip off the surface of my face as i take my school planner and the rest of my belongings out. good thing my wallet is a plastic leather material and my pencil bag is plastic. my planner was totally fucked, all the writing smeared off the bottom of the pages. i went to get the hair dryer and sat on my floor for an hour blowdrying through the pages. the corners curled and the pages flipped cartwheels. i honestly love wet paper, i used to enjoy reading my books in the shower because when it dried it left a cool texture. but this wasn't cool, it was my personal planner and the only folder i brought home because it had important shit in it. now my hp7 receipt, grade 100 essay, new looseleaf, and all my math homework was ruined by dumb expensive tea. yeah i'm a little bummed, it's okay though because it was green tea, not black coffee. now here are some cool photos of the wet pages :)

December 9, 2010

cure me

i want to shoot color film again. my camera has been sitting empty without film in my locker for a week now since my last assignment and since it doesn't look like i'll be doing the photo essay till vacation, i'm going to load it with some color film tomorrow. my harikin has been loaded with color film since summer, i'm up to the eighteenth frame i think. i carry it around in a special pocket in my bag but it sucks that i can't use it a lot because it must be sunny and my subject must be 3m- away. so it's basically a little diary i carry around and use whenever i remember while i watch beautiful light; like my little moleskine journal.. it just sits at the bottom of my bag.

today, i missed the bus. i know i did because i miss it everyday. so i went to the pharmacy and got things i didn't really need, hoping that once i leave the store the bus will show up. yeah, it didn't. i put my hoods (hoods, plural, i wore two) and my plush knit gloves, turned on my pandora and stomped the ten blocks home. five at night here looks like nine at night. today it was seventeen degrees so i jaywalked a lot just to keep my knees circulating with blood. i had ldn by lily allen playing and it made me feel a little better about missing the bus (which came when i got to my stop. two buses actually) and kind of sang out loud in the cold in the dark. this is how you cure your freezing city walk home from the subway station. my pen and ink teacher told us of someone who got killed for being "plugged in". she means having earphones on and loud music playing. of course i am aware that if i play my music so incredibly loud because it fits my mood, i can get mugged, kidnapped, fall into a manhole, or in his case, get hit by a truck backing up. i don't play my music at this high volume, it's discomforting to my ear drums. i listen loud enough to hear babies cry but enough to drown them out so my beats play better noise.

i guess i can mark this day as the final day of being sick. i woke up this morning lying in bed without hacking like every morning before so i assumed that i was cured. after brushing my teeth and washing my face, i automatically had a cough attack. i felt better though, i definitely didn't feel things trying to slug up my throat. so i think i'll post about what happened last thursday to tuesday in the previous post. i gotta go edit it now bai

December 4, 2010


hi i can't write a post about yesterday right now because i am suffering a high fever.

edit 12/9/10: hi. i'm back. i'm full of energy and strength to press these keys and tell you why i delayed this post for a week. my little brother and sister had been infested with germs and everything and became sick. i tuck them into bed when my parents aren't home, which is always, so i get pretty close to them when i do. also when my brother is pissed off and he's sick, he would cough at you in your face. i contracted this illness which included a 103 fever and all kinds of muscle and bone pains and cough and cold and shit on thursday. i felt it when i was sitting on the library floor during my free period with elizabeth and daniel. my knees got so weak and my back wanted to just curl up. on my subway ride home, i became so uncomfortable, i felt like dying. the fever didn' completely show up that night so i thought i was okay for the night. the next morning, i wasn't sure whether to go to school or not so i took my time getting ready. i went downstairs to the kitchen and prepared my breakfast and medicine. i just wanted to sleep. i took my medicine and jet, i remembered that i had a chemistry quiz and a big precalc test. oh plus, i had to go to ice skating with allyson. i tried to stay strong throughout the day, did whatever i could to make it a little easier for me and everyone.

so when allyson and i met up afterschool, i was still coughing and my body temperature was on a rollercoaster. we went ice skating anyway but before that we had to find a place to eat. the zaiya cafe at kinokuniya had absolutely nothing so we left for the zaiya cafe at midtown. as dumb as i could be, i chose the seat by the door. we ate our little sandwiches quick and went to bryant park. we also picked up some hot cocoa while waiting on the line. nothing so bad was happening yet. i got my blades sharpened, found available lockers and we put on our ice skates. by this time we didn't want to go on the rink anymore but we did of course. ice skating is the best experience ever, i must tell you, it is a beautiful thing, unless you don't know how to skate which leads to another story. there were this group of particular someones who absolutely obviously had no skill on ice. little did we know, we thought that when they went out of balance, they needed help so allyson assisted. then as the fucking bitch she was she looked us in the eye and said "okay bye". alright goodbye fucker.. rude. the rest of our joyous time there, we eye-picked the ones we knew were going to make other skaters fall head over blades literally. we just watched as we skated around. they were so obnoxious it was unbelievable! every person who fell was knocked down by one of these people. they would hold on to your waist and then push you, they would grab your shoulder and pull you down, they would try to dance on the fucking ice and pull your hair out. they drove me absolutely nuts so i left and got tea. /fast forward to 9pm.

i didn't realize how late it was when i got off my subway station. i honestly thought there would have been a considerate bus driver waiting for me at my stop but there was actually not one stranger in the streets. pretty damn disappointed and exhausted as fuck, i began my twenty block tread home. it was scary and lonely and most of all, cold and dry. if you add an extra pound for my camera, another three for my skates, another five for my school bag, you would get a girl who wanted to drop dead right there in the streets. i felt so helpless and drained out, i was so sick too and nobody was out to hear me. by the time i got home, it was almost ten. i dropped my stuff off in the living room and put on my new plush robe and sat in bed with some hot tea. i asked my sister to bring my stuff up to my room and then i summarized my night by watching the polar express with my two sisters in my parents room. the following two days, i suffered in my robe, sweating and shaking and coughing up phlegm. it was the worst weekend of my life, especially since my immune system used to be a lot better, i would usually heal within a day without medicine. i was on eight different medications and didn't see a real doctor till tuesday afterschool. i couldn't seek medical help till then because they were moving offices at the time, oh what a coincidence. in conclusion, i am better. i hope i didn't miss anything important. i heard tumblr was down when i was ill too, and got better the morning it was restored. hehehe okay bye

December 3, 2010

post from school

I am sitting on the floor of my locker section right now. Only the no-tenth-period kids are hanging here. Instead of socializing, I'm trying to take notes on for the chemistry quiz I missed this morning. I'm starving, I only have a chocolate chip muffin to eat right now. I'm also sick, with warm blood and rosy cheeks, my skin is on fire but I'm not sweating. My fingers however, are freezing to the tips. And I can also feel the ends of my chilly toes inside my shoes. I don't feel good at all. I had a fever yesterday and came to school only to get my precalc test over with and to receive my report card. After school, Allyson and I will go ice skating at citi pond in bryant park. I'm so tired of being sick already and hope that I won't feel the pain on the ice. Tomorrow will be worse, I know it. When you go ice skating after a long period of time, all your muscles ache the next morning. Its awful bc of the suffering but at least you know that you just used every muscle in your body.

I just want to sleep. Every cold surface sends goosebumps up and down my body. I'd lie on the floor right now if the school hadn't stunk all day. I would like to go home and pass out but I had been looking forward to citi pond since last friday. I'd rather get sicker than having to miss the day right after they lit the christmas tree. Alright there are four minutes left, I'm going to pretty myself now. Bai